Brain Science

“It is never too late to grow up and become who you really are.”

George Eliot

My husband had a good birthday this year. When he was still coaching high school basketball, he would say that he had a good birthday if his teams were still playing on his birthday (his birthday coincides with the high school basketball playoffs in Oklahoma). He’s been retired for several years now, so we can’t credit winning a basketball game for the reason he had a good birthday this year. Honestly, I think it may have something to do with brain science – or more specifically, me understanding, recognizing and using mindfulness to change my emotional reactions to certain situations.

To be honest, science wasn’t really my thing when I was younger. It was my weakest subject in high school. I was born under the Pisces astrological sign, which according to Astrostyle.com is “the dreamer and healer of the horoscope family, who awakens compassion, imagination and artistry, and unites us as one.” Sound familiar? If I had taken an aptitude test when I was in high school or college, I most certainly would not have ended up in a career focused on science or surrounded by a bunch of researchers.

So, here I am today, 30+ years into a career that depends on rigorous scientific measures to evaluate the effectiveness of public health and injury prevention strategies. But, I’m probably late to the mindfulness arena, which is rooted in Buddhist traditions. While it has been argued that the emergence of mindfulness-based approaches is the single most significant development in mental health practice since the beginning of the 21st Century, it’s only been within the past 2 ½ years that I have been introduced to and practicing these approaches.

I should have been paying closer attention earlier because I certainly have had many opportunities in the past 10 years to see the positive effects of mindfulness practice. I used to love working with a retired colleague from California who is Buddhist. His calming presence, composure, and thoughtful, non-threating words in meetings that had the potential to become heated could shift the tension in a nano-second. Several years ago, I was introduced to the Social Emotional Health work my friends at Momentous Institute here in Dallas are doing. Their research is showing amazing results. Ninety-seven percent of Momentous students graduate high school on time, 84% enroll in college, and 79% of children with an identified social, emotional, and/or behavioral challenge show significant improvement in functioning.

We’ve known for some time that traumatic stress has a broad range of effects on the brain and how it functions, as well as on neuropsychological components of memory. The ways that the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex respond to stress are well documented. If some of these terms sound familiar to non-scientists, we heard a lot about this from Dr. Christine Blasey-Ford in September 2018.

Through research, such as the Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) study conducted by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and Kaiser Permanente, we understand the long-term effects of traumatic stress. As a result, many agencies and organizations are implementing a “trauma-informed care approach,” which means treating a whole person, taking into account past trauma and the resulting coping mechanisms when attempting to understand behaviors and treat the patient. I’m happy that my employer, Parkland Health & Hospital System has implemented this approach. Just last week, I completed a mandatory training on trauma-informed care.

There also continues to be a growing body of research that shows that the development of mindfulness, leads to non-judgmental and non-reactive acceptance of experiences, which is associated with positive psychological and physical outcomes. I really got involved in mindfulness because that is deemed an essential leadership component of the Texas Injury Prevention Leadership Collaborative, a group I have been part of for the past 2 ½ years. Besides, who doesn’t want to be less judgmental and more empathetic and compassionate?

What I’ve learned through our mindfulness practice is to listen to really learn and understand instead of listening to plan strategy to counter someone else’s viewpoint. I’ve learned to recognize triggers (physical and cognitive) to emotions and contentious exchanges so that my reactions are less reactive and hostile. It’s very hard, and I am by no means competent at it, yet.

This year, instead of giving my husband a birthday present that I thought he needed or that I wanted him to have (this year’s birthday fail was a towel warmer), I decided to spend the day with him with people he wanted to spend time with and doing what he wanted to do. I made the decision that I was also going to approach the day with a positive attitude, even though his choices for the day were not ones I would choose. Guess what? I ended up having a good day. We watched the Oklahoma University men’s basketball team beat Texas, and then drove to Apache, Oklahoma to watch two high school basketball playoff games. I had enjoyable conversations with people whom I have little to nothing in common. I watched my husband “in his element,” talking with other coaches, administrators, and former colleagues.

As we drove home at 10:30 p.m., my husband expressed an opinion about an issue that is vastly different from my own views on the subject. Instead of reacting immediately, I paid attention to my triggers – I was tired. I paused before speaking, took a breath, and said, “I’m not following what you are trying to say. I’m tired, so this is probably not the best time for this conversation.” Then I just listened as he tried to explain his point. When I did, I began to understand his concerns. I still don’t agree with him, but we avoided an uncomfortable end to what had been an otherwise good day. As we neared our house, my husband looked at me and said, “I’ve had a good birthday.”

On my birthday, my friend, Leslea sent me the “life quote” at the beginning of this blog post. Perhaps, I’m “becoming” the person I want to be, and in doing so, I finally managed to give my husband a present he wanted.