Clarity

Gmorning!

I wish you clarity today.

Clarity of thought, clarity of expression, and a direct

line between what you feel and what to do about it.

Gnight!

I wish you clarity tonight.

Clarity of self, clarity of purpose and a direct

line between who you want to be and how to get there.

Lin-Manuel Miranda

My sister is struggling with a decision. We’ve all been there – worried about the consequences of a “wrong” decision. I recall a story my mother told me many years ago. When my daughter was 3 years old, she was visiting her grandparents for the weekend, and my mother was pushing her to make a decision about something. I don’t recall the details, but they had probably gone to a restaurant, and my mother was trying to get Staley to make a decision about what to order. Exasperated, Staley looked at her grandmother and said, “Nan Nan, ‘cisions are hard.”

Yes, they can be. But, I wonder if our society has made decisions harder because of an “either/or” mentality? Are we conditioned to believe that all decisions are binding, and that we can’t “course correct” if we figure out the original path we selected doesn’t suit us? Does our fear of change put too much pressure on us to never change our opinions, careers, or our minds?

I have many examples in my life that demonstrate how changes have led to better and happier outcomes. Even decisions that may be considered “mistakes” have provided good learning opportunities.

In 2008 (just shy of my 50th birthday), I left a job where I felt comfortable to move across state lines to a city I wasn’t’ familiar with to assume a job that had been successfully held by a very popular, competent woman for nine years. Aside from marrying my husband and having my daughter, that decision may be the 3rd best decision I have made in my life. I love Dallas, love my job, and have met numerous amazing new friends, including the woman that I replaced.

While we laud long marriages, (don’t get me wrong, I’m very impressed with people who have been married for long periods of time; my husband and I will celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary in May), but I have many friends who have had very successful second marriages after divorce.

I think we are also often taught to feel constrained by age, and I think that is big limitation. My friend JoAnn made the decision to leave a lucrative job to start her own business in her 50s. My friend Mary Ann is working to complete her bachelor’s degree in her 50s. My friend Leslea’s parents continued to travel internationally well into their 80s.

Maybe the best thing that we can do is to stop putting limitations on ourselves, shuck societal expectations, and fully embrace opportunities, regardless of when they present to us.

Sonya, whatever decision you make, it will be the correct one. Trust yourself.