I’m so lucky!
May 20, 2018
Prince Harry mouthed those words to his new wife, Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, as he was exchanging vows during the most recently dubbed “fairy tail” wedding, where Miss Markle married a real life prince and member of the British monarchy.
The truth is that no marriage is a fairy tail. Don’t get me wrong – I’m a firm believer in marriage. I believe marriage can be good, it’s just that “happily ever after” may be impractical. Worse, it can contribute to improbable expectations. I married when I was an immature 21 year-old (what 21 year-old isn’t immature?). Even then, I knew that marriage would be hard. I had no illusions about fairy tales.
But the ceremony for Prince Harry and Meghan Markle gave me hope. I think it was exactly what we needed. Even though there continues to be unimaginable suffering in this world, it showed that the British monarchy, which traces its origins to medieval Scotland and Anglo-Saxon England can embrace a strong, successful mixed race, divorced young woman as the newest member of the royal family. When Prince Charles stepped in to walk Meghan down the aisle after her father was unable to do that, I was touched. In the spirit of full disclosure, I wasn’t a fan of Prince Charles following his divorce from Prince Harry’s mother, Princess Diana. But, he seems to have been a loving father who raised two exceptional young men. The acceptance of Meghan by 92 year-old Queen Elizabeth and her 96 year-old husband, Prince Phillip, as well as their acceptance of Meghan’s mother Doria Ragland, is also cause for hope.
From the sermon delivered by Michael Bruce Curry, the 27th Presiding Bishop and Primate of the Episcopal Church, the references to Martin Luther King, and the choir singing “Stand by Me” by Ben E. King, this ceremony was an ode to African culture in addition to the love between Prince Harry and Meghan. Everything about it gave me hope. The ceremony proved that old traditions can be honored while still embracing new ideas.
Hope is important. Last week, I listened to a presentation by a member of Parkland’s Human Relations team who talked about psychological capital – self-efficacy, hope, optimism, and resilience. Scientific research has shown that hope reduces feelings of helplessness, boosts happiness, reduces stress, and improves our quality of life.
It’s why we can celebrate and feel hopeful about the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle following yet another tragic school shooting in Houston, Texas only 3 months following the last horrific shooting at a high school in Florida. It’s why we can continue to find hopefulness when our lives take an unexpected turn. I was devastated after my father’s death almost 20 years ago, but I found that it was still possible to find happiness in the face of sorrow.
The marriage of Prince Harry and Princess Meghan isn’t likely to be a fairy tale. There will be struggles because that’s life. But, I think it signifies hope. And hopefully, both the Prince and Princess will still consider themselves “lucky” 10, 20 and even 30 years in the future. My definition of lucky is if the person you love is still holding your hand after the struggles.