A Day to Remember
May 13, 2018
In the play, “Our Town,” the central character, Emily, after dying in childbirth, is given the opportunity to “relive” one day in her life. She chooses to relive her 12th birthday – just an ordinary day rather than a momentous day. After reliving that day, Emily sees that human beings fail to recognize the transience of life and to appreciate it while it lasts.
I’ve been fortunate to have many momentous days in my life – my wedding, the birth of my daughter, graduations, job promotions, U.S. and international travel, and family events. While the momentous days have far outweighed the bad days, I’ve also had my share of heartache. Without question, the worst day my life was November 4, 1998 – the day my father died of pancreatic cancer. Even though I was 40 years old, I was not ready to lose my father, who was my hero, and the first man I ever loved.
I was sad for many reasons. My sister and I would miss my father’s wise wisdom. My 10 year-old daughter and 4 and 7 year-old nieces would miss playing and learning from their grandfather. My “young” 60 year-old mother would miss the companionship and the opportunity to enjoy her retirement years with the man she loved. On November 4, 1998, it was difficult for me to believe that I would laugh and relish life again. But, I learned that if you can get past the tragedy and despair, life can still hold wonder, laughter and love.
Not long after my father died, James Treas re-entered my life. James is the father of some of my school classmates. Tragically, his wife passed away 6 weeks after my father’s death. James and my father were high school classmates, and James was in my parent’s wedding. Several years after the deaths of their spouses, James and my mother married on August 25, 2002.
James has been the grandfather that, along with her grandmother, attended my daughter’s elementary basketball games, high school drill team performances, and high school and college graduations. He is the father that has given me sage advice and held me in his arms as I have wept when I’m sad. He has done this for my sister and nieces, as well. He has been my mother’s companion for the past 19 years, as they have celebrated family milestones, traveled internationally, and welcomed new grandchildren and great grandchildren.
Recently, James experienced some health issues that may be life changing. This weekend, I had the opportunity to spend some time with my mom and James. Unencumbered by my work obligations, I spent the weekend assisting them. But, there was also time for meaningful conversation.
I am so lucky that James is in my life. I am so grateful to his children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren for sharing him with the “Stephens girls.”
By any standards, today would not be considered a “momentous” day. Today is not a day that I could have imagined on November 4, 1998. But, it is one that I will remember and cherish forever. Today was a gift.