Practicing What I Preach

Yesterday was National Best Friends Day. It was also my best friend’s birthday. I last saw her in person, last hugged her and felt her arms around me on March 6, 2020, when she dropped me off at Baltimore Washington International Airport after I had spent the weekend with her family. When she called to inquire if I was interested in meeting her somewhere for her birthday this year, I didn’t think twice. With both of us fully vaccinated, I jumped at the chance to spend time with her. Without much discussion, we decided to fly to South Carolina to repeat a brief trip we attempted to Hilton Head Island in 2007 (that’s another story for another time).

Photos are important to me – always have been and probably always will be. I have hundreds of photos of us together in many places at various times during the past 20 years, including one of us on the beach in Hilton Head at sunrise on the previously mentioned trip.

A few weeks ago, another friend of mine had knee replacement surgery and suffered complications following the surgery and had to be readmitted to the hospital. She shared with me that during one her low points, she realized that she had spent much of her life in a self-critical mode – focused on how her body looked rather than being grateful that it performed as it should. At the time, I thought her words were profound and vowed to do better at self-compassion.

This trip was like many others with me immediately taking photos of the surroundings, including several selfies. But as I looked at each of the selfies, I cringed, and one by one, I deleted them. I was more than a little critical of my image in the photos. The humidity wreaked havoc with my hair. I had gained too many pounds during the pandemic. I looked my age, with the wrinkles and dark circles under my eyes evident.

My best friend said she wanted this trip to be about self-care and self-compassion, something we are both lacking. I had agreed and had every intention of “doing better,” but every good intention I had prior to the trip vanished when I looked at the photos. However, after I had made one too many critical comments on one of our long walks on the beach, long talks on our balcony, and multiple glasses of wine, my brilliant BFF reminded me of the purpose of this trip. And the words of my other very wise friend started ringing in my ears.

So here are several photos of my incredible time with my best friend at a beautiful beach resort as we reconnected while listening to the melodic and calming sounds of the Atlantic Ocean. And there’s even a selfie sans makeup with frizzy hair and extra weight. I’m finally feeling grateful to my body and mind that I could enjoy this special time and another trip around the sun with my BFF.

Happy birthday, CC-F.