It's Time

There have been a lot of thoughts coalescing in my mind this past week as we approached the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday. These thoughts were brought on by a variety of things, including the drama unfolding in the United Kingdom over the decision by the Duke and Duchess of Sussex to step back from their roles as “senior royals,” seeing the movie “Just Mercy,” which is based on the work of Bryan Stevenson, the founder and Executive Director of the Equal Justice Initiative, and an ongoing discussion about “standards” and the seemingly differing opinions on the definition of that word.

Normally, I don’t pay much attention to the British Royal Family, but I have watched with interest at how the British media have covered Prince Harry and his wife, former actress Meghan Markle. It seemed to me that white Brits spent the week following the announcement by the Duke and Duchess blaming Markle, who is biracial, for turning Harry away from his family. First, the idea that a woman is to blame for any decision that a couple makes on behalf of the best interest for the family continues to rankle me. If they assume that Prince Harry or any man is that weak and ill-informed, then women should be running every country, corporation, business, church, etc. Think about it. If a man is that easily manipulated by a woman, then why do we continue to hold men up as the smarter, more competent gender?

Second, when presented with objective evidence that the media covered the Duchess of Sussex differently than it did the Duchess of Cambridge, Prince William’s wife (including side-by-side headlines), the white journalists continued to deny that structural racism was a factor.

Frankly, I am so sick of the excuses. I can’t even imagine how my African American friends must feel.

Why can’t we just own our mistakes without trying to justify them? Clearly, this isn’t just a problem in Great Britain, but in the U.S., as well. There have certainly been documented horrific, deplorable (yes, I used that word) actions by whites throughout the history of our country. I was once again reminded of this when I saw the film “Just Mercy.” While the movie, which is based on Stevenson’s bestselling book of the same name, deals with racial injustice within the legal system, there are just as many documented cases of continued racial inequality in healthcare, banking and lending practices, and public safety, among others.

In a commentary in the January 17, 2020 issue of the Chicago Tribune penned by my friend Dr. Brian Williams, an associate professor of trauma and acute care surgery at the University of Chicago Medical Center, and the Rev. Dr. Michael W. Waters, lead pastor of the Abundant Life African Methodist Episcopal Church in Dallas, the current inequity is outlined in vivid detail. To deny that structural racism is a thing of the past is just false.

On an episode of the show “Last Week Tonight” with John Oliver that aired in August 2019, the host and comedian Wanda Sykes joked about the bias in medicine. They discussed outdated textbooks and how physicians’ unconscious beliefs about women and black patients can lead them to receive substandard care. In reality, this isn’t funny. It’s serious and people are dying because of it.

As someone who works in the healthcare setting, I wasn’t offended by the commentaries of Dr. Williams and Dr. Waters, nor those of Oliver and Sykes. I didn’t make excuses for my industry. I didn’t try to deny or justify it. There is truth there, and it makes me angry. It makes me just as angry when I hear a police officer, a banker or loan officer, a teacher, or journalist jump to the defense of one of their own in the face of objective evidence of racial bias. That doesn’t mean that every doctor, lawyer, judge, teacher, banker, police officer, journalist, etc. is bad. But it does no good to deny, excuse, or justify racial bias and inequity, and it weakens credibility when we do.

Recently, I finished reading White Fragility: Why It’s So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo, a white woman who has conducted diversity training and cultural competency workshops for 20+ years. By her own admission, DiAngelo is a white American raised in the U.S. with a white frame of reference, white worldview and white experiences. That same description is true of me, my family and most of my white friends. We were never taught to see ourselves in racial terms. It has never occurred to me that my life didn’t matter. I have never felt the discomfort of being seen racially, nor do I believe any of my white friends have either. When I try to explain the concept behind “Black Lives Matter,” they become defensive and argumentative. Talking about racism makes them uncomfortable, yet they seem to have no understanding or empathy that our history is splattered with white people making black people feel uncomfortable. DiAngelo points out that it’s way past time for whites to have the self-awareness, humility and vigilance to own our inner voices of racial prejudice and to begin the hard work of combatting those voices instead of remaining silent.

Which brings me to the discussion about “standards.” For far too long, I have allowed that word and the people who use it to make me feel “judged.” In my opinion, the way I dress, whether I use fine china and crystal, or if I know which fork to use during a formal dinner is not the standard bearer to which I aspire. My standards are about kindness, humility, and inclusiveness. It’s not about making fun of another person because the diamond in her engagement ring is not as large as mine. It’s time that we dropped the cultural context that aristocracy, breeding, class, etc. makes you a better person.

As Maya Angelou said, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." I acknowledge the mistakes of my past, my uniformed opinions, and my silent complicity in the face of injustice. Now, I know better. And, it’s time for me and my white friends to have the courage to do better.