Reflections on 20 Years After September 11, 2001

I awoke this morning as I do most Saturday mornings when I’m in Dallas with the sunlight streaming through my windows. I stepped outside my apartment around 9 a.m. CST to a beautiful blue sky and light breezy 70-degree temperatures. Twenty years ago today, people in New York City and Washington, DC awoke to a similar morning (although it was Tuesday), yet by that time in the morning, their lives and our country had forever changed. 

On that morning, individuals went to work, took their children to school, boarded planes, and some may have headed out for a long walk just as I did today.  What were they thinking before the first plane hit the North Tower of the World Trade Center at 8:46 a.m. ET? What were their emotions before the terror of the day claimed every memory?

As I stepped out of my apartment this morning and breathed in the crisp air, I reflected on my own emotions. If today were my last day on Earth, what would I be feeling on my last minutes and hours?

In my August 12, 2021, blog post, This is Going to Piss Off Some People, I wrote that during 2018 through 2020, I felt compelled to write frequently in this blog because I felt a series of negative emotions. I was sad, angry, confused, and miserable most of the time about the injustices I was witnessing on certainly a daily basis, if not an hourly basis. Writing became cathartic – a way to make sense of my emotions and process my feelings.

But today, September 11, 2021, I feel a very different emotion — gratitude.

Gratitude for the people at the Oklahoma State Department of Health who saw something worthwhile in me and took a chance on a wide-eyed, immature 25-year-old who dreamed of making contributions for a better world.

Gratitude for those who opened new doors for me and pushed me through those doors to new experiences and opportunities. 

Gratitude that those new experiences provided me with new perspectives and new friends.  

Gratitude that I was in a city that I had never visited with old and new colleagues and friends doing the work that I love on September 11, 2001. 

Gratitude that being in Chapel Hill, North Carolina on September 10, 2001, allowed me to meet my forever best friend and share the horror of that day with her, as well as all the conversations and love that have permeated every fiber of my life in the 20 years since.

Gratitude for the path that my life has taken in the past 20 years – living my dream life in Dallas, Texas, and meeting more of “my peeps,” the ones I lovingly refer to as Team Texas!

Gratitude for all the people in my life who accepted the self-righteous, judgmental person I was in my youth and broadened my limited outlook.

Gratitude for the people who have helped me dig deep in self-awareness and reflection and do the laborious work to improve myself so that I can learn from past mistakes.

Gratitude for the staff of the Safe States Alliance who inspire me every day, the long-term members of this amazing association who have given me a second home and family for 25+ years, and the newer members who give me hope. 

Gratitude for the roads that lead me on new journeys.

Gratitude that in the midst of a global pandemic, I’m able to see the prospect of a more just world on the horizon for my daughter, granddaughter, nieces and nephews.

I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge the gratitude I have for the unearned privilege that has allowed me to never have a door or opportunity closed to me, but to walk from one continuous open door to another one.

I am grateful for a career that has afforded me the opportunity to engage with insightful thought leaders across this nation. 

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a colleague at the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Spoken like a true public health professional, he said, “Hate is a contagion. We need to eliminate hate.”

I couldn’t agree more, Neil. Instead of spreading disease, I wish we could spread love and gratitude. 

To all the people who lost loved ones and to those whose lives were forever changed on September 11, 2001, I pray that you feel peace.

#neverforget