This is Going to Piss Off Some People

When I started this blog in 2018, the intent was to focus on and share moments of awe. After I spent the year before living in a cloud of confusion and despair, my best friend suggested that I direct my thoughts and experiences on finding moments that would bring me joy and fulfillment. Honestly, I agreed to do that because I wasn’t sure that I would survive otherwise. The events of November 2016 and the aftermath had zapped every ounce of resilience and hope from my body.

 So, I started “searching for moments of awe.” And to be clear, I had to “search.” Every day brought a new horror to the news cycle, so I had to make a conscious effort to “search.” Because of that effort, I spent a lot time writing in this blog about that search. Consequently, I posted a new blog weekly; sometimes more. I barely took a breath. I was in a constant state of fear, so I was constantly searching for something positive – anything.

 From 2018 through November 2020, I posted multiple times a month.  Since January 20, 2021, I’ve posted less than two times per month.

What has changed? Is it the constant fear I felt from 2017 through 2020? I’ve certainly felt fearful in 2021. I felt fear and despair on January 6 when I watched on television as a mob carrying weapons and Confederate flags overtook the Capitol in Washington, DC, threatened the lives of our Vice President and members of Congress, tried to stop our democratic process protected by our Constitution, and left a trail of destruction in buildings and a process that I had come to revere.

Honestly, I still feel fear every time I drive past a house displaying a Confederate flag or pass a pickup with one flying from the truck bed with bumper stickers proclaiming hate against members of the Jewish and Black communities (I’ve lost track of how many times this has happened). My hands clench my steering wheel while I say a silent prayer that I don’t have car trouble during those moments.

I certainly feel fearful right now as I watch the latest surge in coronavirus cases due to Delta and other variants. I feel fearful because these variants do exactly what we know and have known they do – they mutate into more efficient and deadly versions when they haven’t been wiped out by vaccines.  Even after mandatory science classes in elementary, junior high, and high school, and 16 hours of required science classes for a journalism major in undergraduate school, I am not a virologist or infectious disease expert. However, my career path has provided me access to people who are. I will not try to explain here how viruses mutate because there are many credible sources that can do a much better job. I’m just trying to paint a picture as to why my academic studies and 30+ years as a public health professional have contributed to my trust in science and access to professionals I trust. 

In 2020 and 2021, several of my friends and family gave birth to or welcomed infants. Many of them, I have not had the privilege of meeting because of the pandemic, but I love them because I love their parents. I have young nieces and nephews who are not eligible to receive the coronavirus vaccines because of their age. I would do anything to protect these children. 

And I became a grandmother in 2021. Recently, my friend Leslea posted on Facebook her heartfelt intention to do anything possible to protect her 1-year-old granddaughter. I can relate.

The actor, Jennifer Aniston recently posted on social media that she has made the decision to cut non-vaccinated people out of her circle, and she received criticism for that decision. Her response was that even though she is fully vaccinated and may get sick from the variant, she could unintentionally pass it on to someone who hasn’t been vaccinated (children less than 12 years) or whose immune system is compromised because of a pre-existing condition (e.g., cancer, multiple sclerosis, diabetes, etc., all of which members of my family have), and therefore, she puts their lives at risk.

I concur. 

I don’t care what the people in your Facebook feed, church, or conspiracy theorists say. I will take every precaution to protect the people I love, even if it means not having contact with friends and family members who aren’t vaccinated. I’m back to wearing a mask. I’m back to not congregating indoors. I’m back to limiting the things I love like travel. I’m back to being inconvenienced because of people who refuse to get vaccinated.

And, if you  refuse to get vaccinated, I will continue to take precautions and not unintentionally expose you because I care about your health, even if you don’t care about mine or the health of those I love. 

On a positive and “moment of awe” note, I’m encouraged by the number of new vaccinations being reported every day.

I still feel fear in 2021, but the difference is that I feel confident that our current administration will shepherd us through the difficult and uncertain times ahead of us. And I wake up every day and say a prayer of gratitude to Jesus, the universe, and the 80 million people who went to the polls in 2020 and cast a ballot for empathy and competency.