Hello Enthusiasm! I've Missed You.
I felt an unexpected moment of excitement on Tuesday, August 11 when I saw the announcement from former Vice President Joe Biden that Senator Kamala Harris will be joining the Democratic ticket as his candidate for Vice President. To be honest, that feeling caught me by surprise.
For those who know me best, my revelation of surprise to feeling excited about an upcoming election will be shocking to them. They know me as an unabashed political junkie (see blog post from November 9, 2018) who can “geek out” on political issues. My interest in politics was solidified when I was in elementary school and “campaigned” for one of my grandfather’s friends who ran for County Commissioner. As soon as I turned 18, I registered to vote, and I have voted in every election (whether local, state or national) since then.
Although my political leanings have changed as I matured and became more knowledgeable about issues, my commitment to voting and the democratic process has never wavered. Until November 8, 2016.
Let me be clear here – things didn’t change for me that evening because the candidate I supported in the presidential election lost; my presidential candidates have lost as many times as they have won in the past. Nor was it because a female was at the top of the ticket. And, it certainly wasn’t because I don’t like Republicans. I have voted for Democrats, Republicans, and Independents, unlike most of my conservative friends who have told me they would never consider voting for a candidate who isn’t a Republican. With the exception of the first two elections when I was able to cast a ballot, I have always researched the issues and how the candidates stood on them. I am offended when others try to paint me with their own attitudes.
I have also made mistakes in voting for individuals who turned out not to have the values that I consider important (I’m looking at you, John Edwards). But I have owned those mistakes and haven’t tried to justify them with excuses.
But the 2016 election changed me. As I watched the election results that evening, every hateful comment directed at me by “well-meaning,” “Salt of the Earth,” Christians that I had buried to avoid conflict or appease those individuals surfaced and crashed into my body that night, shattering my soul and spirit.
Every time someone challenged my Christianity because I’m registered as a Democrat.
Every time someone tried to shame me because of my support of reproductive rights.
Every time a person told me that my opinions are “wrong” and there’s no reason for discussion.
Every time someone spewed racist comments about my friends and colleagues of color.
Every time someone ridiculed my LGBTQ+ friends.
Every time someone chastised my friends of different religious beliefs.
Every time a person with financial resources said they “don’t care if others have health insurance because I can buy my own health care.”
Every time I witnessed despicable acts by sanctimonious Christians that were opposite of my interpretation of the principles heralded by Jesus.
Every. Single. Detestable. Comment. And. Action.
Since that night, I have strengthened my resolve to do my part to ensure that the values that are important to me – civility, equity, human decency, empathy, and respect are represented, including going back to my roots and knocking on doors for candidates I supported during the 2018 midterm election. However, the polarizing hatred, conspiracy theories, and discriminatory policies of the past 3 ½ years have battered my emotional health and left my emotions depleted.
While I have continued to feel joyful at times (particularly the past 2 months), I haven’t felt real enthusiasm for the past 4 years. That’s why I was surprised when I felt it on August 11.
There are 81 days between now and November 3, 2020. I like feeling enthusiastic. I had missed this feeling. I want to remain hopeful, but I have witnessed too many horrific actions to continue to be the wide-eyed optimist of my past. For now, I’ll enjoy this feeling and try to hold on to the excitement as long as I can.
#vote