Courage

“When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won.”

Mahatma Gandhi

During the course of my career, I’ve listened to dozens of talks on leadership and read just as many books and articles on the subject. There are two that I haven’t thought much about in a long while, but they have inhabited my thoughts a lot lately.

The first one is The Abilene Paradox. I first heard this story in 2000 when I was still working at the Oklahoma State Department of Health (OSDH). The story, which is attributed to Jerry Harvey, who was a professor of management science at George Washington University, was being told during an OSDH leadership seminar offered by the Human Resources (HR) Department. Earlier in the year, top Health Department leadership had come under scrutiny following an FBI investigation that uncovered fraud and corruption dealing with the licensing of nursing homes. As a result of the investigation, all Health Department officials at the highest level were removed, and one Deputy Commissioner was found guilty of bribery and served time in prison.

As is often the case when an organization suffers a scandalous event, they offer an abundance of mandatory leadership seminars in an attempt to regroup and shift the culture. Hence, my participation in the afore mentioned seminar. Paraphrased, The Abilene Paradox is the story of a family who forsakes an afternoon doing something enjoyable and meaningful to take a long, hot, dusty drive to Abilene, Texas for dinner. When one member of the family suggests the trip, all family members agree to it. When they arrive at the cafeteria, the food is bad. After they arrive back home four hours later, they are exhausted. As they begin to discuss the trip, each family member reveals they didn’t want to go to Abilene but agreed to go because they were trying to satisfy the others thinking that everyone else wanted to go. The group is perplexed that together they decided to take a trip that none of them wanted.

As the HR representative finished the story, she asked, “How many of us have taken the trip to Abilene?” Following the FBI investigation into the OSDH, many employees admitted they suspected wrongdoing, but never said anything because they didn’t have proof. I was in a completely separate department and pretty far down the leadership chain at the time, but I can admit to having misgivings about the leader that was convicted.

The other thing I’ve thought a lot about lately is the chapter in Jim Collins’ book Good to Great that talks about “getting the right people on the bus.” Dr. Sue Binder, a former director of the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, recommended the book to me as I was beginning my leadership journey. The book remains one of my favorites, but it is Chapter 3, “First Who . . . Then What,” that has always had the most impact for me. In that chapter, Collins emphasizes “getting the right people on the bus.” I’ve focused so much on getting the right people on my team, that I may have lost sight of the fact that I could be on the wrong bus.

For the vast majority of my career, I’ve reported to exceptional leaders. These people have modeled compassion while promoting autonomous, collaborative and innovative thinking. I was allowed to grow and learn from mistakes in a safe and supportive environment. It has contributed to my success and confidence. The idea of creating safe spaces for discovery is so integral to my beliefs that when my colleagues and I established the Texas Injury Prevention Leadership Collaborative, it became one of our core values.

In many ways, I’ve been in a bubble, protected from poor leadership almost to the point that it is hard for me to recognize. Like gaslighting, it can be subtle, initiating tiny cracks in the veneer of confidence until all of your confidence is shattered. It doesn’t matter how much mindfulness training you’ve had or how successful you are, those cracks cause you to question your success, expertise, knowledge, and even your values. Sometimes you want to believe that something is right so much that you make excuses for sacrificing your integrity. You justify the unjustifiable. Until you just can’t do it anymore. When that finally happens, you begin to realize that you’re on the wrong bus. Being on the wrong bus can destroy your self-respect, and possibly your career.

I’ve never been the person that selects a “word of the year;” I’m not even good at making New Year’s resolutions, although I enter every new year with the simple resolve to do better. But as 2020 dawned and after much self-reflection about the past and the future, I decided I needed to create a mantra to help guide my daily actions, so that I could become a better version of myself. So, I chose my word for the year – courage.

Here’s another thing about me – if I make a commitment or resolve to do something, I usually follow through with it. Choosing courage as my word of the year meant that I had to be courageous enough to speak the ruth in love (as my friend, Mary Ann says) and above all, adhere to my core values and ethics. Little did I know at the time that it would also mean being courageous enough in a time of uncertainty to get off the wrong bus.

For 12 years, I had the undeniable privilege to be the Director of the Injury Prevention Center of Greater Dallas (IPC). It was a position that I loved; much of why was because we always had the right people on the bus. I may have learned as much about leadership from working with my staff as they ever did from me.

I was notified in February that the decision had been made to terminate the IPC and shift all staff to different roles. While I am grateful no staff lost their jobs, we were all told that we would no longer be able to do the jobs we loved and were hired to do. If I was looking for a sign that I was on the wrong bus, it couldn’t have been clearer.

Fortunately, my career has provided me with an incredible network of colleagues and friends who still value my expertise. That network has afforded me with options – something I don’t take for granted, especially now. I will always value my time with the IPC and Parkland Health & Hospital System. I owe a debt of gratitude to Dr. Ron Anderson, Dr. Compton Broders, the IPC and Community Development staff (former and current), the Broders ER Golf Classic Team, and all of our amazing partners.

Today was my last day at Parkland. On July 6, I will join the staff of the Safe States Alliance, the injury and violence prevention professional association that I had the honor of serving as President of from 2008 through 2009. I am thrilled and grateful to have the opportunity to work with this innovative group of people that I admire and respect.

As my friend, Lisa VanderWerf-Hourigan used to say, “Safe States is like family.” Finally, I’m back on the right bus, and I’m headed home!