Tough Times
“We need to remember that circumstances don’t make a person, they reveal a person.”
Emma Jameson
I’ve often heard that a person’s true character is revealed in tough times. I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately as I’ve watched the rapidly changing news around COVID-19 and the vastly different ways people are responding to these surreal circumstances. I’ve heard my husband say hundreds of times, “There’s a big difference between adversity and inconvenience,” and that statement couldn’t be any truer than in this current reality. For some, COVID-19 represents serious adversity – loss of income and financial security, as well as health. For others, like me, it is challenging our activities in ways that are inconvenient.
While I have been working very hard at not being judgmental, it is no secret that I struggle with this. When I hear people of privilege complaining about the sparsity of toilet paper on grocery shelves, I clench my teeth. Nothing sends me into a spiral of anger faster than hearing someone whine about their difficulty getting back home after they irresponsibly boarded a plane to go on vacation following strong recommendations by every credible public health source to cancel non-essential travel. I have no tolerance for people flaunting their wealth and privilege while our country and this world is in the midst of a health crisis.
It’s probably a wise move that I gave up Facebook and Twitter for Lent this year because it is likely I would see posts that would send me screaming into the streets. So, there it is – after all of this work on myself, trying to be a learner, not a judger – I still fail at being the person I want to be.
I don’t like the angry, judgmental version of me. Anger and judgment don’t make me productive. And, we all need to be productive in these challenging times.
As I’ve thought about the term “social distancing” (which is likely to be the new term of 2020), I’m wondering if that is what I’ve been trying to do for the past few years? In 2016, I was chastised for “unfriending” (which was the word of the year in 2009) several acquaintances. They made assumptions that I had ended “friendships over politics” and expressed shock and outrage directed at me. But the truth is that we weren’t really “friends,” and I had tired of listening to their offensive comments about marginalized populations. They had exposed their character years earlier. It had nothing to do with politics; the election didn’t change my feelings, but it did zap my bandwidth for being around these people.
If I’ve learned anything from reading Brene Brown’s books, it is that I need to set boundaries around toxic people who suck all of my energy. By the same token, I need to surround myself with people who inspire me. And, there are plenty of those.
To all of my friends — near and far, employed and retired — who volunteer on social justice and health issues, you continue to impact my life in all of the best ways. You keep me sane.
As for me, I’m dealing with the inconveniences of COVID-19, by getting outside as often as possible while still following the guidelines of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and National Institutes of Health. I’ve actually been cooking a lot lately, but I’m privileged to have the financial resources to support my neighborhood restaurants. So, I’ll be ordering curbside pick-up meals from them for the next several weeks. I’m scheduling Zoom and FaceTime calls with friends. Thanks to my Action Inquiry Group and the Insight Timer app, I’m spending time in meditation and reflection. I’m expanding my knowledge and understanding by catching up on some reading. This weekend, I will also start assisting with drive-through COVID-19 testing at the American Airlines Center site.
These are tough times. Please take care of yourselves, friends.