Endings and Beginnings

The end of a calendar year always provides an opportunity to think about endings and beginnings. This year, 2020, will be remembered unlike any other. As someone who works with epidemiologists, I know that rates for all causes of death will be skewed because of COVID-19. Data tables for 2020 will most likely be accompanied by an asterisk. By December of this year, COVID-19 had become the leading cause of death in the U.S., ahead of heart disease and cancer. As of this post, more than 330,000 people in the United States have died from COVID-19. On December 14, NPR reported that the current COVID-19 deaths are equivalent to Sept. 11, 2001 happening nearly 100 times. One person now dies every 36 seconds from COVID-19.

Beyond the data and numbers are real people. My friends and colleagues who work in hospitals have reported they have witnessed more death than ever before in their careers.

A couple of years ago while reading an obituary and learning new things about the person who had died, my sister half-heartedly mentioned to me that I needed to leave a list of my achievements “because no one in the family knows the extent of your accomplishments.” While I appreciated my sister’s sentiment and her desire to honor and publish the events of my life so they can live on in perpetuity in the form of my obituary, I rolled my eyes at that suggestion. Not because I don’t want to make things easier for my family in their time of grief over my demise, but because I’ve read too many pretentious obituaries chronicling high school activities and everything that followed.

I’ve been fortunate to have a successful career, and I’m honored by the awards my colleagues have bestowed on me. But there is no award that one individual earns alone. They are all because of collective effort.

Perhaps it’s because another year is ending. Perhaps it’s because we have all witnessed so much death this year. But I’m going to do my sister a favor and write my own obituary. I’m sure she can easily find my curriculum vitae online or any number of biographical sketches that have been written about me, but those only list my formal education, positions I’ve held, committees I’ve served on, and yes, the awards.

Note: I do not have COVID-19 or any terminal illness or disease. I’m in amazingly good health for someone my age, and I expect to live another 20 or 30 years. I just want my family to capture the important things about my life in my obituary – not the fluff.

So here goes.

Shelli Lynne Stephens Stidham had the privilege of being born white, cisgender, and heterosexual. She became a Christian in a community, state and country controlled by Christians. While her faith was important to her, it, along with her race and sexuality, provided her with opportunities not available to so many others. She took advantage of those opportunities. Even with those opportunities, she had a lot of help along the way to achieving success. Her intentions were always noble, but early in her life she was tone death to the systemic injustices that aided her career and success yet thwarted the efforts of others. Throughout her life, she was vigilant to curiosity and discovery, which led to continued growth as a professional, friend and family member. As a result, she spent the latter part of her life trying to correct the systemic injustices that plague our country. She is survived by a family who loved her and supportive and brilliant friends who gave her the space thrive.

As with each ending, there are also new beginnings. I doubt that there is a person on Earth that isn’t looking forward to the end of 2020. A New Year often brings new hope, new resolutions, and new expectations. There is reason to be hopeful – with the dissemination of the coronavirus vaccines, there is the expectation that the deaths and hospitalizations will decrease and that we can safely resume family gatherings. Additionally, a Pew Research survey published on December 3, reports that the percentage of adults in the U.S. who say they will get the vaccine when it is available has increased to 60% (it was 51% in September).

But the problems of 2020 are not going to magically disappear when we peel off the last page of this calendar year. My friends and I also understand that social systemic injustice will not miraculously end on January 20, 2021. There is still so much work to be done in 2021 and beyond. Therefore, I plan to be around for many years to come – listening, learning and working on “righting the wrongs” of the past and creating a future landscape that holds promise for everyone!

Hang on and stay safe everyone. Help is on the way.