On the Basis of Sex

December 31, 2018

As news of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s latest cancer diagnosis surfaced on the eve of the release of the movie “On the Basis of Sex,” which depicts the first gender-based discrimination case she argued in court, I began to think about my own journey toward feminism.

In my immediate family, females outnumber males. My only sibling is my sister. We both have daughters. When my youngest niece, McKenna was born, my daughter proudly proclaimed to someone “We only have girls in our family.” My father used to call my mother, sister and I, along with his granddaughters, “the Stephens girls,” even though my sister and I, along with our children, bore the surnames of our husbands. My dad used to joke about us needing male pets to counter the gender imbalance in our family! True to form, we will welcome another girl in the family in 2019 when my niece Madison’s daughter arrives.

So, it probably seems natural that I would embrace the whole “girl power” theme. Call me naïve or unobservant, but when I was young (i.e., in elementary school), it never occurred to me that I couldn’t or wouldn’t be allowed to pursue my dreams because of my gender. My sister has a slightly different take on our younger days because she would tag along with our father to the family farm. She remembers being incensed that our dad wouldn’t let her drive the tractor, but allowed our male cousin to do so. Yes, farm families in the 1960s and 1970s allowed their elementary and junior high age children to drive farm equipment. I had no interest in farm-related activities, so this wasn’t an issue to me.

I’m not really sure when I became aware of the term feminist. I don’t recall any formative family discussions about women’s rights when I was young – it just seemed to be the culture in our small immediate family. I’m fortunate to have grown up in a two-parent household, but I always saw my mother as a strong woman, equally capable of providing for our family. What I didn’t realize at that time was that her salary would always be less than male coworkers.

There are two events that do resonate in my memory, which may have launched my feminism. The first was the release of Helen Reddy’s song “I am Woman” in 1972, when I was in the 9th grade. That song became my anthem, and I would listen to it endlessly. I still recall every word of that song, and it is the ring tone on my cell phone today.

The other event was in September 1973, when Billie Jean King played Bobby Riggs in a tennis match dubbed the “Battle of the Sexes.” I had started playing tennis when I was in junior high school, and King, who had won the U.S Open, French Open and Wimbledon in 1972, was my idol. Riggs, a 55-year-old former Wimbledon champion, bragged that he could still beat any woman player and had beaten Margaret Court earlier that year in what was called the “Mother’s Day Massacre.” Following the match with Court, Riggs made a number of misogynistic comments, such as “the best way to handle women is to keep them pregnant and barefoot.” He challenged King to a match, and she finally accepted. He predicted victory against King saying, “she’s a woman and they don’t have emotional stability.” I was obsessed with the King/Riggs match and talked about it relentlessly leading up to it. On September 20, 1973, I was one of the estimated 90 million people worldwide who watched it on television while sitting on the sofa in our living room, cheering her every point as she disposed of him 6-4, 6-3, 6-3. I remained a Billie Jean King fan throughout her career and still admire her efforts for gender equality and social justice.

During the early 1980s, my mother was active in trying to get the Equal Rights Amendment ratified in Oklahoma. The Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) passed the U.S. Senate and then the House of Representatives, and on March 22,1972, the proposed 27th Amendment to the Constitution was sent to the states for ratification, with a seven-year deadline on the ratification process. There was opposition to the ERA organized by fundamentalist religious groups across the country. My hometown was no exception. Anti-ERA organizers claimed that the ERA would deny a woman's right to be supported by her husband, privacy rights would be overturned, women would be sent into combat, access to safe and legal abortions would continue, and homosexuals could legally marry.

For the ERA to become a Constitutional amendment, 38 states had to ratify it. As the 1979 deadline approached, only 34 states had ratified the ERA. Congress granted an extension until June 30, 1982, and there was a huge push to get the four remaining states necessary. The actor Alan Alda, who may be best remembered as Hawkeye Pierce on M*A*S*H*, is also one of the most prominent of Hollywood’s male feminists (he appeared on the cover of Ms. magazine). He actively supported ratification of the ERA and traveled to states that hadn’t ratified it to garner support. One of his stops was in my hometown of Ada, Oklahoma. I love Alan Alda! I have always been a fan of his acting as well as his support of causes important to me. My mom, sister and I were able to attend his appearance in Ada. Armed with my camera, I was able to get a photo of my sister shaking hands with Mr. Alda! Several days later when I got the photos developed (this was before digital cameras, so I had to wait several days to get the prints), I immediately took them to the school where my mom was teaching. It was during a recess break, so my mom was in the teacher’s lounge with several other teachers. One of the teachers who was staunch opponent of the ERA because, in her words, “the Bible says women are not equal to men,” peered over my mother’s shoulder to glimpse the photos, then quickly turned away when she realized what they were and said, “I can’t look at those.” Confused, I asked her why. “Because that’s a sin,” she replied. Seriously??? I was dumbfounded. She considered looking at photos of my sister with Alan Alda as a sin because he supported the ERA. After hearing that, I began to look at people who made similar comments with trepidation.

Ultimately, the Equal Rights Amendment was not ratified. However, as of this date, women’s reproductive rights, including access to reproductive healthcare and birth control, as well as access to safe and legal abortions, is still protected by the U.S. Supreme Court. It took 30+ years, but on June 26, 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court made marriage for same-sex couples legal nationwide, declaring that refusing to grant marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples violates the Constitution. This ensured that my gay and lesbian friends could finally legally marry the persons they love and enjoy the same marriage rights as I had always had.

As I’ve gotten older, I’m sorry to say that I haven’t been immune to gender bias. I’ve endured derogatory comments from family members and friends about my “feminist attitude.” I’ve listened to too many stories from female friends and colleagues who are more competent than male competitors, yet have been passed over for jobs and promotions. I have heard stories of how my friends have tolerated and survived sexual harassment and sexual assault. These are the stories that have shaped my views.

As we enter 2019, I’m praying for the heath of the diminutive associate justice who has previously survived bouts with pancreatic cancer and colon cancer, as well as the death of her beloved husband. I am grateful for her work to guarantee the females in my family have equal opportunities for employment and healthcare. And, I will continue to work with my friends to protect her legacy and ensure equal rights and protection for all regardless of gender, race, ethnicity, religion, and sexual preference. I don’t believe that protecting someone else’s rights diminish my own. I just don’t.

#getbettersoonRBG