Message to my sister

April 4, 2018

My sister has often chided me for what she calls my “Pollyanna” viewpoint. While we share many similarities, we have very different personalities. I’ve always thought that I’m the optimist, and she is the pessimist. On the other hand, she believes that she is a “realist.” For most of our lives, this has been our sibling banter. Until last year, that is.

Last year, as our government fell into chaos, hate crimes increased, and threatened erosion of long-awaited social justice gains, were reported on a daily (almost hourly) basis, my friends and I became more and more depressed. Even sunny days in Dallas seemed bleak. As my friends and I have discussed, 2017 was much worse than we could have imagined, and I was in a constant state of worry and fatigue.

One day last year, I was having a conversation with my sister, and she actually pleaded with me to, “Please dig deep and find the hope that was once there. I need my hopeful sister back.” She had no idea how much I wanted the same thing – to feel hopeful again. I hated being depressed. But, as is so often the case, it is difficult to find hopefulness when you feel your life, your existence, is spinning out of control.

The good news is that, with the help and understanding of my friends (and lots of wine talks), we all began to emerge from the darkness. One of the things that helped was an article written by a behavioral specialist, who said we should accept our reality so that we can move forward, rather than paralyzing ourselves with shock and outrage.

Another thing that helped was when my best friend suggested that I spend 2018 looking for moments of awe and inspiration. I accepted her challenge, which is the reason for this website and blog. I have to admit, seeing moments of awe and inspiration didn’t come as easily as it had in the past. At first, it was a struggle to find something positive amid the negative noise. As I’ve written previously, a couple of girlfriend trips enhanced my vision. But something else has happened, and it has come after yet another unimaginable tragedy. Following a shooting spree at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida by a young man with an AR-15, a group of surviving students emerged from the massacre that killed 17 of their classmates and school personnel with a “fire and fury” that I can get behind! As Edward Felsenthal, Editor-In-Chief, of Time, writes in the April 2, 2018 edition of the magazine that features the organizers of the #NeverAgain movement on the cover, the students have “jolted the dormant gun debate from its sleep” with their “justifiable anger and grit.” In less than 2 months, these “kids” and their movement have been instrumental in tightening gun restrictions in Florida, Rhode Island, and Oregon, getting several retail chains to stop selling assault-style weapons, as well as ending some corporate partner relationships with the National Rifle Association. Oh, and they organized the March for our Lives, held on March 24, where hundreds of thousands of people showed up in Washington, DC and at other similar marches across the world!

These kids may be more informed about gun violence than I am, and I’ve spent my entire career in public health and injury and violence prevention. They can spout Centers for Disease Control and Prevention statistics better than I can.

Sure, there is still plenty of hate spilling out from many sources, but these smart, articulate students aren’t backing down. It’s almost like the hate directed against them is fueling their passion. Yes, these students who have experienced fear like I’ve never known, who witnessed their classmates and teachers gunned down in their school, are being jeered for their activism. A February 20 New York Times article reported that some conservative media outlets were describing the students as “crisis actors who travel to the sites of shootings to instigate fury against guns. Or they are called F.B.I. plants, defending the bureau for its failure to catch the shooter. They have been portrayed as puppets being coached and manipulated by the Democratic Party.” Alex Jones, the conspiracy theorist behind the site Infowars, stayed true to past comments on mass shootings, again suggesting that the Parkland shooting was a “false flag” orchestrated by anti-gun groups. (https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/20/business/media/parkland-shooting-media-conspiracy.html)

Death threats against the students and their families ensued. Yes, you read that correctly again. There have been death threats against these students as if witnessing the massacre in their school isn’t enough. When asked about this, David Hogg, one of the Parkland students who survived said in an interview with The Washington Post, “It’s annoying. I hate it. But it’s part of American democracy. “Am I an actor? No. Am I a witness? Yes.”

When Fox News host Laura Ingraham mocked Hogg for getting rejected from four universities and accused him of whining about it, he responded by tweeting a list of companies that advertise on Ingraham's show and encouraging them to discontinue their ads from her show. To date, 15 companies have pulled their commercials.

After a Republican congressional candidate from Maine called Emma Gonzalez, another of the Parkland survivors a “skin head lesbian” and Hogg a “bald-faced liar” on Twitter, he was widely criticized. He later deleted his Twitter account and dropped out of the race.

While there are still plenty of negative and hateful comments, there have been far more positive responses. These kids have also recognized that their effort is drawing attention and financial support that efforts by African American activists in urban communities have not. Subsequently, the students from Parkland are trying to correct the imbalance and are engaging groups organized to combat street violence to be part of a bigger united effort.

When interviewers asked them about their poise and sophistication and how they are doing this, they credited their “great teachers” for their leadership skills. Wow, students praising and crediting their teachers! In an interview with MSNBC host Joy Reid, Jaclyn Corin and Cameron Kasky said their “amazing teachers need a bigger paycheck.” I hope my friends and family who are marching with the teachers and students in Oklahoma are paying attention. Listen to the March for our Lives organizers. You are important! And, what you are doing is critical! You are training the next generation of leaders. Feel proud, because you are doing your job well. Keep it up.

Oh by the way, Sonya, I’m back!